I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
