omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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