Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
