I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
