She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
