He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
