I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
