if i died would you start the facebook group?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
