I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
