You smell like stripper and shame
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
