you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
