She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
