i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
