So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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