Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
