i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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