There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
The power of my boobs compel you
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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