Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
