So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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