So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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