You smell like stripper and shame
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
