just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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