my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
