if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
