There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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