Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
