its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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