We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
