I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
