You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
