I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Couch. On fire.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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