Sry I called you an 8
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
