I don't remember. Are we still dating?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize