I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
