I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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