My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
