Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
