Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
