your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
When are your genitals available?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Randomize
