How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
only if we run a train.
done.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
