I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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