We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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