just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
