Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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