sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
