Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
