I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
