We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
