I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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