i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
