thus making me awesome and them whores
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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