she smelled like a LAN party
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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