i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Is it penis luge time yet?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Randomize
