and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Randomize
