I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
