You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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