My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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